the dating game

“Game”. What an interesting notion.

It refuses to be confined by one set of rules; it cannot be taught; and everyone has a different perception of it.

A good friend of mine has long been called a “ladies’-man”, a “playa”, the “chick magnet”. I call him out on this all the time. Once, I even dared to ask him, “How do you get all the girls?”

He simply responded, “I don’t. I just hit on a lot of them and hope for the best.”

I chuckled. “Seriously? You’ve got to have a better strategy than that.”

It was then he quoted some famous basketball/hockey player, Jordan or Gretzky I believe.  “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Flash back to grade school dances, when Backstreet slow jams would fill the air. Remember how the boys would stand on one side of the gym while the girls stood on the other? Well as we got older, someone was always daring enough to ask. And before you knew it, there would be others.

The guys who got the girls were not necessarily the best looking guys, nor the coolest. I still remember this one kid, who had been deemed an awkward turtle since the beginning of time, yet somehow managed to consistently slow dance with more girls than any other guy. What did he have that the others didn’t? Courage.

For the guys who are well aware that they don’t have game. You could gain a lot from drinking some courage.

For all the guys who say they’ve got game, your game’s probably not that great and likely could benefit from cutting down on some of this courage.

The ones who have real game, never admit they have game.

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Game comes from experience. I learned this the hard way.

Exhibit A. Grade 8, the time everyone started getting girlfriends/boyfriends. And since I wasn’t a “looker” at this point, I knew no guy in their right mind would ask me out. I decided I had to take matters into my own hands; I had to do the chasing. Well perfect, since I had the biggest (intermittent) crush on the same boy for years, even though we barely ever had a real conversation together. So what’s the best way to tell a 13 year-old boy about your feelings? OH I KNOW! A love letter professing your long time love for him! Oh dear god, you can fill in your own ideas about how I was ridiculed.

Exhibit B. High School. I always saw him around the lockers after the afternoon bell rang. Sometimes he’d look up from his locker and catch me staring. How did he react? I wouldn’t know. I always instantly looked away when our eyes met. Sometimes we’d even randomly cross paths in the hallways when no one else was around. Of course I could never look at him straight in the eyes, though my heart always skipped a beat.

I pointed him out to Tee. She shared my excitement for him. Rather, she was brainwashed by my overwhelming infatuation. One day, we decided we were going to tell him.

I remember the lockers were crowded this day, possibly more than usual. I make my way through the crowd with Tee.

I tap him on the shoulder and over all the rustling, I yell, “My friend thinks you’re cute!”

He’s a little taken aback, but not nearly as much as Tee is. “WHAT? She’s the one who thinks you’re cute!”

He keeps looking at us blankly.

Tee and I look at each other. It takes about a nanosecond for us to realize we’re on the same page. We had to get out of there. And so we ran.

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I could go on forever, but I think you get the idea.

I wrote this post just to clarify any misconceptions of my last post: i.e. I do not think I’m all high and mighty. I do not think I can get any guy I want. I just think, or rather have built up, the courage to throw myself out there. And in turn, I have learned that’s all you need.

p.s. I apologize for my lack of posting lately. I temporarily moved into this wonderful, wonderful, condo, but unfortunately it has no internet, no TV, no phone line. Sad story, I know.
p.s.s. Jonathan Yeung likes little boys. And no, that does not mean I am a little boy.