the package deal

Bro: "No, don't worry about him paying me back. It's my gift to you, and I understand you two are a package deal now."

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Negative.

That statement is preposterous. Blasphemy.

I don't believe in this "package" ordeal.

You see, growing up as a nerd, I watched many of my close friends get into relationships long before I did. I got to experience what it was like to lose best friends to their new found boy-toys. And buddy, I'm telling you, it's not cool.

It's funny, once you get into a new relationship, your friends are always DYING to meet that special person; see what they're like, scope them out, even grill them a little. But soon, the novelty of this new person wears out, and your friends will only be left with a watered-down version of you.

Now, you are the one who claims you have no time for the group outtings, but somehow seem to have enough time to see/call that "special person" every day. The one who starts cancelling plans with friends if "he/she" isn't available to come along as well. The one who, when you finally go out, barely pays attention to anyone else because you're afraid "he/she" isn't close with any of your friends.

No, I'm not currently drinking Haterade.

It's just that I've been there and done that, and it wasn't pretty. People lose trust, friendships, their own personality this way. I remember when my last relationship ended, I barely could recognize myself. I forgot how to be alone, I forgot how to be a good friend, I forgot how to be me.

This time around, I love him whole-heartedly, more than anything in the world. But often, I find myself intentionally not inviting him to go out with my friends, turning down opportunities to hang out with his friends, and giving myself enough time to still pursue my hobbies and career. This often means I only get to see him once a week, if not, even less. But I don't regret it for a second. My friends love me for who I am, not for him. His friends barely get to see him as is, so I'd rather not to be invasive. And at the end of the day, I appreciate knowing that being with him helps me build character and furthers who I am and who I can become.

So this package deal? It's nonsense. Him and I do not complete each other. We are not one person. We are just two individual people who complement one another in ways that I cannot explain, and that's more than good enough for me.